Waking Up With Another Brings More Peace Than Sleeping Alone
by Selene Illusinia
Summary: Grant wakes up the next morning with Skye beside him and they have a much needed talk. Sequel to "Breaking Free Is the Hardest Part" and "The Winding Path Is The One That Leads Home".


It was weird waking to the low light of the room. It put Grant on edge immediately. Were was he? This wasn't the cabin...

Movement and a groan immediately sent Grant's head snapping down. Which was when he noticed the body beside him. The warm body surrounded by a curtain of familiar dark hair.

Skye.

He was in a bed with Skye. It was like some dream, except he knew it wasn't one. He'd fallen asleep on the Bus, inside the Playground. At least Coulson had kept his promise about bringing Skye up. Still, he wondered why she was sleeping in a bed with him of all people. She had to have somewhere more comfortable to crash.

"It's too early to think," stated Skye groggily, turning over to face him. Which was when Grant realized his arms were coiled around her. "Go back to sleep."

He started to release her, to apologize, but her arm immediately shifted to pin his in place.

"Sleep," repeated Skye firmly, eyes still closed. "Not run."

Admitting silent defeat, Grant tried to settle back into the bed enough that Skye could go back to sleep. He'd say goodbye and sneak out once she was asleep again. The longer he stayed, the worse this would be and he knew it.

"You're still thinking," grumbled Skye as she buried her face against his chest. "Why are you still thinking? Sleep is good."

"Go back to sleep Skye," murmured Grant softly, trying to ignore how it felt to have her face buried against his chest.

Groaning again, she pushed away from him and sat up, rubbing her eyes wearily. "Too late, lost it." Stretching her arms above her head in a move that had Grant's eyes falling to her chest, she added: "Plus, you're not allowed to run while I'm sleeping."

"What?" started Grant, his head snapping back up to meet her eyes. How the hell did she know he was thinking about running while she slept?

"Didn't take a genus to figure out your plan," remarked Skye dismissively. Her eyes slid across the room, casting a longing look at the door. "Do you think there's still coffee in the kitchen?"

Grant winced. The answer was probably no. Even he knew that one. He started to say something, opened his mouth even, but never got a chance to voice his opinion. Instead, Skye slid out of the bed and pulled him with her, dragging him into the old kitchen on a hunt for coffee. He winced at the thought of what might happen when she didn't find any. Skye without coffee was a scary sight.

She released his arm at the doorway, stepping inside to rummage for her precious caffeinated substance. Grant found himself momentarily distracted as she did, his eyes watching her familiar movements. It made his heart ache. Why did he betray them? Why couldn't he have learned the truth sooner and saved himself from this pain?

"You still anti-coffee?" asked Skye curiously, drawing Grant's attention back to the present as she pulled a bag from the cabinet and shook it a bit.

"I was actually pretty hooked on coffee when I was at the academy," remarked Grant, though he wasn't sure why he felt the need to tell her that. Maybe to make him seem a little more normal? Obviously nothing else about him was. "Garrett made me break the habit. Said it made me shaky."

The snorting noise Skye made clearly expressed her views on Garrett or anything he said. "The fact that Garrett said it makes that automatically false."

Grant tried not to wince or really react too much. Garrett was still a really sore spot for him. _Really_ sore. It was hard not to rush to his former SO's defense. It wasn't that he really even liked Garrett at this point, but he'd spent so long defending the man that the words were almost instinctive. Even the months that had passed since he beat the man he'd almost called father to death hadn't helped to alleviate the pain of his betrayal.

A warm cup was suddenly shoved in Grant's hands, drawing his focus onto Skye and the kitchen again. Her eyes were worried as she stared at him with a silence she never used. It was actually kind of unnerving to see her so quiet. Skye quiet was like his family being nice: it just didn't happen.

"Skye?" prompted Grant, reaching out to her and taking her hand.

Her fingers tightened around his a little, eyes falling to their hands. "AC wants you to stay. He doesn't like the idea of you being alone out there were we can't keep you safe."

Grant released a quiet sigh at her words, leaning against the counter carefully without releasing her hand or his coffee. "Yeah, he mentioned that."

Skye's fingers shifted in his grip, intertwining with his as she took a half step towards him. He countered by setting his coffee aside and gathering her into his arms. Her face pressed into his chest almost immediately, free hand rising to play with the hem of his shirt. There hadn't been time to change last night between their narrow escape and Skye's awakening, so he was still stuck in the same dusty clothing he'd been wearing in the base. How she wasn't choking on plaster and smoke, he wasn't sure. The shirt probably contained a lot of both. He should probably try to find some fresh clothes before he left, though he really wasn't sure there was anything left on the Bus that was his anyway. The team had probably tossed it all. He would have in their shoes.

"I want you to stay, too," admitted Skye against his shoulder. "But I get it. Facing down the people you betrayed is really, really tough. And that's without shooting someone."

Grant kept his mouth wisely shut. He wasn't about to share the fact that he all but knew for fact the Koenings were LMDs. The real Koening had died just after World War II; he'd seen the field report and death certificate himself. But Skye really didn't need to know they had LMD capabilities; he wasn't sure Hydra actually did. He only knew the Koenings were LMDs because, again, he'd seen the death report for the first Erik Koening and there was no mention the guy had a kid or kids. Plus, the two Koenings he'd seen looked _identical_ to the guy from the 1940s. Down to a slightly crooked nose from a break. It was kinda freaky. No, scratch that, it was really freaky. He only even knew it was possible because Garrett saw fit to tell him. He wasn't sure Skye would feel any better about what he'd done though, regardless of if the guy was a robot or not. And she definitely didn't need to be afraid of the ones running around the Playground.

"Plus, I know you're staying in the cabin 150 yards from the perimeter fence," added Skye, settling her cheek on his chest.

Grant started a little at her remark, though he wasn't sure why. Skye seemed to know a lot of things she wasn't supposed to. Figuring out he was staying near by if she was looking couldn't be hard at all.

"Why haven't you come out if you knew where I was?" asked Grant quietly. It actually bothered him a bit- the idea she wouldn't come out to see him, if at minimum to confront him.

Skye shrugged faintly, burrowing further into his side. "I didn't put two and two together until I was thinking about it in medical, though I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knows."

He relaxed a little then, relieved he hadn't been that obvious. "Yeah?"

"The cabin always looked abandoned," confirmed Skye with a simple shrug. "I don't think anyone else even knows it's there."

"That's good then," muttered Grant softly. "I don't really want to see the others."

"Yeah, I got that," confirmed Skye with a chuckle, stepping away to make her own cup of coffee. "Your repeated statements of 'I'm not ready' drove that home."

Grant looked away then, eyes dropping towards the door as his cheeks began to heat. It wasn't really his choice; he'd hurt the others, they deserved to speak to him when they were ready and not when he was. "Sorry."

"It's okay, Grant," assured Skye, tilting his head up gently so she could meet his eyes. "Look, I get it. Remember, I've been there. The whole Miles fiasco and all that. But that doesn't mean I'm not worried about you and that Coulson isn't, too." Sighing, she released his chin, stepping away to lean on the counter beside him. "AC wants a chance to get to know you. He's really beaten up over this. Like, really beaten up."

"He can't be that beaten up," muttered Grant, eyes falling back to the floor again. He just couldn't see the man who'd threatened to shoot him when he was on the ground feeling bad that he'd never known they were related. Hell, he couldn't see anyone feeling bad about that.

"AC said he would have come and gotten you if he'd known," remarked Skye quietly, looking up at Grant sadly. "Simmons confirmed the DNA, too. You're related to him, no questions asked. Definitely father and son."

Grant closed his eyes and sighed. "Great, another person for me to disappoint."

"He's not disappointed in you," corrected Skye immediately, her hand gripping his so tight he thought she might actually leave a bruise. He didn't even know she could grip someone that hard. Clearly, someone had taken up training her in his absence. "He's upset this happened, though. Mad that Garrett targeted you, that you never had a chance to reach SHIELD on your own-"

"I wouldn't have reached SHIELD if it weren't for Garrett," cut in Grant, eyes meeting Skye's. "If it weren't for Garrett, I would have gone to prison for a long time when I was 14 for trying to kill my older brother. For trying to burn down my par- my fam- for trying to burn down the Ward's house." Sighing, he picked up his coffee again. "Look, I know it's hard to accept, but Garrett did help me. Yeah, he was crazy. I get that now and his reasons for helping me are still screwing with me. But the fact is that he _did_ help me. He saved me from the Wards who were arguably worse than he was."

"Except then he turned you into his puppet," argued Skye gently, her hand releasing his to brush through his hair. "That's not exactly helpful."

"No, it wasn't," agreed Grant, bending so he could lean his head against hers. "It wasn't helpful, but he did help me get away. I can't dismiss the limited good he did for me just because there was bad, too."

He felt Skye's disagreement in the way she took his hand again, in the press of her cheek to his. Could tell she wanted to argue just by how her body felt when she pressed up along his side. But she didn't all the same and he felt the moment she let it drop, too. "Alright Grant." Sighing, she lifted her head up to meet his eyes again, giving him a sad look. "I'll drop it."

"No you won't," dismissed Grant with a touch of a smile. He knew her too well; she wasn't going to drop this permanently. She would keep poking and prodding at it until she was satisfied with everything and he knew that. It was probably for the best, though. He knew he'd ignore the issue of Garrett for as long as he could without prompting. It would be the only advantage of staying with the team, though they'd probably push him too fast and too far. Maybe even too hard. There were things that had happened that still felt raw and Garrett's death in particular still weighed heavy on his chest.

Yes, he'd saved Skye. He'd kept her alive and well like he'd wanted to all along. But that didn't change the fact that he'd essentially beaten the man he considered a father to death, either. Yes, Garrett had done some bad things to him. He'd never deny that now, just because there wasn't a point to denying what he could clearly see. The fact Garrett had tried to use his pain against Skye spoke to the level of depravity the man was willing to stoop to in order to get his way. That wasn't normal and Grant couldn't pretend it was. But Garrett had been good, too, and that was something else he couldn't just ignore. When everyone else had turned their back on him, Garrett had still pulled him out. Granted, it was ultimately to manipulate him, but Garrett's training had saved Grant from himself. That couldn't be ignored, no matter what the other man's intentions had been.

"Grant?" called Skye, waving her free hand in front of his face a little. "Earth to Grant, come back to us already."

Blinking, Grant snapped his attention back on Skye, his chest and arm feeling oddly cold without her next to him. "Sorry, what?"

"You were thinking about Garrett, weren't you," accused Skye quietly, though there was understanding there, too. It always felt like Skye understood somehow, even when there was no way she could. Even when he felt like she shouldn't have the first clue what he was feeling and thinking.

"Yeah," admitted Grant quietly, dropping his eyes to his cup. It wasn't an easy thing to admit, mostly because it felt wrong. But it was the truth and it was part of why he couldn't come back, either. When he could put his thoughts about Garrett to rest, then he could return. It wouldn't be possible to give the team his all until he did. He owed it to them to have all his focus on the team and not on his past. Especially Skye and Coulson. God, Coulson. He wasn't even sure where to start with the man. What to say.

Fingers brushed his cheek, drawing his attention away from his cup and back onto Skye almost immediately. She was like a bright light in his life, always capable of drawing him out of the darkness. Just seeing her calmed his mind.

"Hey, talk to me," insisted Skye quietly, her fingers dropping away from his cheek so she could hop up on the counter. "You're not gonna get anywhere letting everything swirl repeatedly in your head." He must have looked startled (hell, he was startled) by her insight because she shrugged after a second and took a sip of her coffee before adding: "I was obsessed with finding my family, remember? I've done the whole 'thinking myself in circles' thing. It sucks."

The smile that tugged its way onto his lips would have been a surprise if anyone but Skye had caused it. "I'm just thinking about everything I need to do before I can even consider coming back. You guys don't deserve anything less than my full attention and right now, I just can't give that to you." Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "I need to put Garrett behind me. Put my family and everything else behind me. After what I did, you deserve to actually have me focused and ready to do what I'm asked, not scattered like I am now."

"You seemed pretty focused when you were taking out those guys shooting at me," remarked Skye, though her eyes said she got it. That she could understand what he was getting at. Seriously, how did she do that? "I get it though. It's why I was in LA and Miles was in Texas. I couldn't- until I found my family, I couldn't bring myself to be around people for long periods of time. It felt like I wasn't actually giving myself over to the people I wanted to to be close to and that wasn't fair. They were sharing all of themselves with me and I was only sharing a fraction of myself with them. It doesn't feel good."

Grant nodded quietly, knowing that feeling all too well. It had burdened him when he'd been a sleeper agent and he could only imagine how someone who wasn't trained to hold onto their secrets had felt. For Skye, it must have been painful. For him, it was just a means to an end and he'd practically chanted his mission in his head to keep his tongue in check. "That's why I can't come back yet. And Coulson...he deserves the truth. He deserves more than I can give right now."

Skye nodded slowly, eyes turning towards the ceiling in consideration for a moment before she reached out and lay a hand on his shoulder. "You know you won't be completely alone though, right? I know where you're hiding and I'm gonna come visit. You need something to ground you to the now, otherwise your past is gonna drive you crazy."

"It already did," reminded Grant bitterly, a dry laugh cutting from his lips. "I feel pretty crazy most of the time these days."

The almost sad smile Skye gave him in response tore a bit at his heart. "Hey, who in this world is really sane?"

"Pretty sure you called me a Nazi psycho," reminded Grant, though the words had no sting.

"Yeah," murmured Skye gently, reaching out to brush a hand against his hair. "Because I didn't realize you were being lied to about things and I didn't realize Garrett had so much of a hold over you. I'm still not convinced you weren't being a psycho at the time, but...I don't know. You don't seem like the same person now. You aren't a robot anymore and you aren't psychotic. You're just...you."

"So are you still mad at me?" asked Grant, concern still in his eyes that she might be holding her grudge indefinitely.

"Honestly?" asked Skye with a sigh, dropping her hand from his hair. "Yeah, I am. I'm pissed you kidnapped me, I'm pissed you betrayed us to Hydra, and frankly I don't know if I trust you right now or not."

Wincing, Grant dropped his eyes to the floor. This was why he wasn't coming back, too. Who could really trust him? How could they trust him? The answer was, they couldn't. He had no way of regaining their trust, and he knew it.

"But," continued Skye, her hand resting gently on his shoulder and drawing his gaze back up to hers. "I think I get what happened now. I'd like it if you'd actually tell us what exactly happened, but it's pretty obvious something damaged your psyche. I know enough about people to know that evil isn't an inherent state. It's something learned or caused and I've seen that first hand. Even talking to AC about Garrett reinforced that idea."

Dropping her hand from his shoulder, she ran it through her hair once before dropping her eyes to the ground. "So yeah, right now I'm pissed with you and I'm not sure how much I trust you, but I trust you enough to let you watch my back. I mean, that's what you've been doing for the past few months without prompting, so there's gotta be some reason, right?"

Grant smiled a bit sheepishly, eyes falling to the wall behind her. "Yeah."

"So I mean, I just...it's gonna be hard to trust you again, Grant," admitted Skye with a sigh. "But we're- we know something bad happened. AC's been having me dig around in your past and it's...not clean. Frankly, your family sounds like a bunch of jackasses to put it nicely."

"Thomas wasn't bad," defended Grant, his brow furrowing. "Rose was...that's just...I still haven't really processed it, I guess. I'm not going to lie though, I'm really glad my supposed parents aren't really my parents."

"I don't blame you," agreed Skye, a grin breaking across her face. "And hey, AC makes a pretty cool dad. I mean, your dad survived getting stabbed by an alien. Plus, he's freaking awesome."

"Coulson isn't my last choice," admitted Grant, shaking his head a bit. "Better than my real parents."

"Or Garrett," added Skye, her smile faltering slightly. He'd need to ask her about that later, but not now. He didn't want to get into this now. "He would have been worse."

"Probably not," sighed Grant, taking a sip of his rapidly cooling coffee. "He was better than them. Even when he left me out in the woods to fend for myself, he was better than my real parents."

"Wait, he what?!" exclaimed Skye, her gaze turning from uneasy amusement to wide-eyed horror. "Did you just say he _left you in the woods to fend for yourself_?!"

Grant winced a little, glancing downward uncomfortably. "Um, yeah. When I was fourteen, right after he got me out of Juvie, he dropped me off in the middle of the woods and left me there."

"Just left you there without, I don't know, supervision to make sure you didn't die?" asked Skye, the horror deepening on her face.

It just made him wince further. He probably shouldn't admit that he hadn't had supplies or anything. That might really horrify her. "Yeah. It wasn't that bad. I mean, I lived out there for five years, right up until he got me into SHIELD."

"Five...he left you out there for five years, without any kind of social contact," repeated Skye, horror mixed with realization shifting across her face. "God, no wonder you suck with people."

"Hey! I'm not that bad," muttered Grant, rubbing his neck self-consciously. "And Garrett visited. He would come by every once in a while. I had Buddy, too."

"Buddy?" repeated Skye, raising an eyebrow suspiciously even as a smile tugged at her lips. "What was that, a dog or a volley ball you painted a face on?"

"Um, a dog," replied Grant, brow furrowing as he blinked at Skye. "A volley ball, really?"

"It's from a movie," explained Skye with a roll of her eyes. "I'm adding it to the list I need to make you watch."

"There's a list?" questioned Grant, discomfort at the thought causing him to shift a little. He wasn't sure he really wanted to know what was on that list; that there was a list was bad enough. It didn't sound short, either.

"Yeah, and I'm about to expand it exponentially," stated Skye with a shake of her head. "Five years is a lot of major movies to catch up on."

Shaking his head, Grant took a sip of his coffee and again returned his focus to his cup. Arguing with Skye wasn't going to end well for him and probably wouldn't work. He knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't give up once she'd started something. It just wasn't in Skye's nature.

Besides, it was nice to stand in the kitchen of the Bus and talk to Skye again; he didn't want to ruin that by fighting with her. Everything felt normal right then and there. It was nice and he just wanted to enjoy it for those last few minutes before he knew he'd need to make his escape.

"You know, you could probably stay on the Bus," remarked Skye suddenly, tilting her head slightly as she glanced around the space. "I mean, it's not like we use it anymore and you wouldn't have to stay with the rest of us if you aren't comfortable with it."

"Skye..." sighed Grant, shaking his head a little. It was hard to explain to her that even the Bus wasn't separate enough for him. He needed the isolation of the cabin and the quiet that would provide. If he stayed on the Bus, he probably wouldn't get that quiet. More than likely, someone would wonder in all the time to talk or something.

"Not right now," stated Skye quickly, waving her hand around to encompass the space. "I meant if you want to come back but you still want privacy. I mean, it's not going to be super private, but if you ask people not to bug you they probably won't. Well, okay, there's a few who still might and you can't expect the other women on the base to not want to stare at you when you work out or something, but most of us will leave you alone. I know AC will make that an order, too."

Nodding slowly, Grant slugged back half his cup of coffee to cover how uneasy the idea made him and to avoid answering. Maybe when (if) he ever felt like he could come back, he'd want to stay on the Bus so he could adjust. "I'll think about it."

Skye nodded silently, eyes still glued on him. He could practically feel her gaze and the questions lurking behind it. She didn't say anything though, just stood beside him with her own cup of coffee and didn't utter a word. Her hand did seek his free one out though, their fingers twining together as they stood in silence in the space they'd once shared as part of a hodge podge of a family.

* * *

It was dark when Grant caught the soft sound of footsteps outside the cabin. He probably wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been settling into bed; he didn't have a lot of candles and firelight wasn't really concentrated enough for him to read by without hurting his eyes. The last two days had been emotionally trying to boot and to say he was exhausted was an understatement. He'd showered before heading back to his cabin, so at least he was clean without having to haul water or take a freezing dip in the river. He'd been hoping for a quiet slumber too, but obviously that wasn't going to happen.

Reaching under his bed, Grant's fingers were around the stock of the shot gun he'd stashed there when a familiar, feminine curse cut in from outside. Skye's voice was unmistakable to him and he released his weapon without worry. If she'd wanted to hurt him, she'd had a lot of opportunities today. Whatever she was there for, it probably wasn't to cause him harm.

Half a second later, the door to his cabin creaked just before Skye's hand appeared inside to wave around. "Grant, it's Skye. If you're home, please don't shoot."

"I know Skye," assured Grant as he forced himself to sit up and turn his head to the door. How had he forgotten to lock it? He must be exhausted for that to have happened. "I heard you cursing outside."

"The tree tried to kill me," stated Skye simply as she slipped into the room with a bulky bag slung over her shoulder. "I think it was trying to protect you."

"How would a tree protect me?" asked Grant, too tired to care that it was a stupid question and she'd probably been making a joke.

Shaking her head, Skye shut and locked the door, kicking off her shoes and padding across the floor to where his bed sat. "Never mind. I wanted to bring you some clean clothes. Your stuff was in storage so we dug out the clothing and threw it in a bag. Not the suits, but the practical stuff. T-shirts, sweat pants, jeans, that stuff. Underwear."

"Uh, thanks," thanked Grant uncertainly, not really sure how he felt knowing Skye had probably been riffling through his underwear.

"AC threw a few things in for you, too," added Skye as she set the duffle under the bed and perched beside him on the mattress. "I think I saw a few candles, a flash light, and some books go in there."

"Always helpful," admitted Grant, laying back down with a yawn. Skye could stay sitting up, but he was too tired to lean on his elbow and chat. "Why'd you bring it over tonight though? Why not wait until morning?"

"I thought you could use the clothes," stated Skye, pausing before adding: "Plus I don't really want to be around the others right now. They keep asking questions about you and I don't really want to answer."

"Questions about me?" repeated Grant, his brow furrowing as he looked up at her. What questions were they asking? And how would Skye even know the answers?

"About last night," elaborated Skye with a heavy sigh. "Why did I stay with you if I'm still mad, how are you holding up, are you coming back, did we discuss Garrett..."

"You know those answers," pointed out Grant as his hand reached out for hers.

She took it without a word, her fingers tracing against his before they interlocked together in a soft but firm mesh. "Yeah, I know the answers, but that doesn't mean I want to share them. I mostly just said that you're dealing with things and tried to leave it at that. Simmons got pushy though and it pissed me off, so I kinda stormed out. I told AC that I was going to bring you the clothes tonight, use the walk to cool off."

Nodding, Grant glanced at the locked door before looking back up at Skye. "Do you want to sleep here tonight?"

"I thought you wanted to be alone," teased Skye, her fingers squeezing his a little. "If you wanted to have a sleep over, we could have just stayed on the Bus."

"I can't handle the others right now," repeated Grant, sighing slightly even as he scooted over on his bed to make room for the hacker. "But if I managed to put up with your snoring last night, I can do it again."

"Hey, I don't snore!" exclaimed Skye with a mock pout as she released his hand and shifted to bend over the side of the bed. She appeared half a second later with a ball of what looked like black cloth bundled in her hands. "Close your eyes. I'm not giving you a peep show."

"Wouldn't assume otherwise," assured Grant, even as he rolled so his back was to her. He listened to the sound of shifting clothing for a minute before the bed dipped further immediately behind him. A pair of cold feet brushed against his leg as the blanket settled around both him and Skye, cocooning them in the darkness of the cabin. Her back pressed against him as she rolled to face the door, the opposite way he was. Almost like she was mad but not quite.

Turning over, Grant tentatively lay a hand on his side over the blanket. It fit there perfectly- the exact right size to cradle her hips with. Skye scooted back, shifting until she was pressed back to front with him. He didn't complain or even say a word, simply wrapped his arm around her waist and closed his eyes as the familiar peace Skye always seemed to bring along settled on his shoulders.

"Night Grant," murmured Skye, her voice already drifting towards sleep.

"Night Skye," murmured Grant in return, his body relaxing against hers. The 'see you in the morning' was left unspoken but it was understood all the same. Come sun rise, Skye would still be sleeping beside him.

For the first time what felt like a very long time, Grant slept soundly through the night. For the first time in a very long time, he wasn't alone.


End file.
